The Victorians loved a good tale stocked with far-fetched adventures, and this one delivers. The roster of outlandish sundries includes a haunted mansion, “ghostly sleepwalkers,” a train wreck that directly leads to the aforementioned damsel’s near-drowning, and, for good measure, some dueling.
It also includes this passage, in which Trump acts a drunken fool and, at Clinton’s suggestion to turn in for the evening, threatens to lob a beer bottle at his head.
“Trump had risen again, throwing another pipe on the hearth, danced a most absurd pas seul , kicked a chair over, set it up again, and then resumed his seat. ‘Oh, what a blockhead! Mother was right. Go on, please, I am all attention. One more mouthful of beer.’
‘It’s my opinion,’ said Clinton, ‘that you have had enough beer to-night. Help yourself, however, and welcome.’
‘My dear [Trump], go to bed,’ said Clinton. ‘I am ashamed of keeping you up so late, listening to my dull stories.’
‘If you say bed to me again I’ll throw this beer bottle at you!’”
The author who remained anonymous at the time of publication is George J.A. Coulson from Baltimore, Maryland. The Odd Trump was his most successful literary endeavor, but the tepid reviews indicate a mixed response.
“We are always grateful to any rising literary man who does not fill us with physical loathing,” wrote The Nation’s reviewer, charitably. Another noted that “the plot is rather complicated.” The chapter titles, a number of which mention dealings with ghosts, suggest as much. They also alert us to a character gloriously named Prince Prettyman.
All in all, the novel sounds worlds more pleasant than the 2016 presidential election, and it’s available for your enjoyment! Read it for free here and escape to the wonderful world of Victorian triviality until tomorrow’s debate delivers one and all to a fiery abyss.